The rural town was frightened when the children awoke to find their guinea pigs had vanished. Demonic sacrifice? Alien abduction? As months passed and nothing else disappeared, the incident was dismissed as an elaborate prank. Undaunted, Heather searched nearby fields for her beloved pig, Miss Priss. Following a curious rustling in the tall grass, she came to an abandoned barn. Inside she was astounded to find the missing guinea pigs. She was even more astounded when, after crying, “Miss Priss! Why did you leave?” the pig answered, “I can’t speak for the rest of them, but, frankly, I was bored.”

Author’s Note: I once had a guinea pig and always thought there was more on her mind than simply lettuce.

Categories: Fiction, Rosalind Barden | No Comments »

“The Human Dynamo Theory explains the explosion of paranormal activity in our modern times. In olden days, the occasional castle harbored a haunt. Now, all homes are infested, even this one. It is electricity, food to the disembodied who can receive nourishment no other way. Humans by their massive world-wide electromagnetic dynamo network have spawned a spirit overpopulation unprecedented in history.

“Which is why,” Agatha continued to the trembling child clutching its plush rabbit in its hands and teeth, a child she’d been forced to babysit, “I must turn off all lights, every last one, when you go to bed.”

Author’s Note: If it is true what television paranormal investigators say, that camera batteries go suddenly dead in haunted houses because spirits feed off electricity, it follows that there must be a spirit population explosion since the invention of electricity.

Categories: Fiction, Rosalind Barden | 4 Comments »