“You’ll make the rafters creak?”
“And the floorboards, too, as per the contract.”
“Yes, about that. I purchased the standard package, but…”
“Yes?”
“Could you possibly make the walls bleed?”
“Wish I could, but that’s a boutique service.”
“I would compensate you handsomely, of course. Cash in hand.”
“No can do, ma’am. The union would have my head. Metaphorically.”
For shame, she thought bitterly, watching him float away. I know I’ve gotten too old to keep up with household chores, but when I was a young poltergeist, my walls oozed with blood. Hauntings just aren’t what they used to be.
Author’s Note: I wonder if these folks advertise on Craigslist. I didn’t check.