I love you, Miss Muffet.
You are so beautiful, sitting on your tuffet, eating your curds and whey, that you send shivers up and down my cephalothorax.
Can I be your special pet, Miss Muffet? You could stroke the soft fur on my abdomen, tickle me under my pedipalps. Life would be so wonderful.
See how handsome I am, fangs gleaming and sparkling, polished with beetle-wing wax, rinsed with early morning dew!
Oh why doesn’t she look at me?
Here I come, Miss Muffet. Perhaps a gentle nip?
OH, MY GOD! What a bloodcurdling scream!
Did I frighten you away?
Author’s Note: Well, I just wanted to tell the Little Miss Muffet nursery rhyme from the spider’s viewpoint!