Drabble: Trying to Quit – by C.S. Lane

by specklit

“Dude, we just scored a human. Want in?”

“No thanks. I’m trying to quit.”

“What?”

“Human. I’m trying to quit. They’re just not healthy, you know?”

“You’re a vampire….”

“Exactly, man. That’s exactly it! If I’m gonna live for the next ten eternities, I don’t want my arteries clogged. Have you seen what they eat? Gluten. Trans fats. GMOs. They inject themselves with viruses and mercury! Viruses and mercury, dude—did you know that? Screw that. I’m switching to antelope.”

“Dude, she’s vegan.”

A pause.

“Oh.”

“So, what? You want in?”

“I want in.”

Author’s Note: When the organic craze finally finds its way vampward, the vegans will be the first to go.


3 Responses to “Drabble: Trying to Quit – by C.S. Lane”

  1. Amber says:

    I have nothing to fear then, unless they jump on board the grass-fed beef craze. Then I’m pretty much screwed. :)

  2. Eliza Fayle says:

    This is hilarious. I shared it with all my food health conscious friends *evil grin*

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