Drabble: Size Matters by Robert Menegus

by specklit

Throughout his life, Gofie was teased for having smaller horns than the other fauns, so he was thrilled to come across a horn enlargement infomercial promising minotaur-sized horns for just three easy payments of twenty gold pieces.

He placed an order and a week later the cream came in the mail. Gofie covered his horns with the ointment before bed, as instructed, and happily drifted off to sleep.

When Gofie awoke, his horns were five times bigger than before! Unfortunately, minotaur horns were much heavier than he’d anticipated, and he couldn’t lift his head off his bed to enjoy them.

Author’s Note: There are some male enhancement ads out there that promise ginormous, uh, results. I saw one that promised results that seemed too big to even be used. That’s what this was a response to.

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