19 July 1924
Eher Publishing GmbH
c/o Landsberg Prison
Landsberg am Lech, Bavaria
Dear Herr Hitler,
Thank you for sending us your manuscript titled “The Lust Maidens of Planet Omega.” Although reasonably well-executed, we are sad to inform you that it is simply not a good fit for us.
For your information, Eher Publishing presently focuses on non-fictional works relating to history and political philosophy, being especially keen on personal or even autobiographical themes. If you wish to send us something more along those lines, we will be happy to look at it.
Author’s note: I’ve always wondered about all those myriad unknown “inciting incidents” that turn an ordinary schlub into A Person To Be Reckoned With.